lead me to the Cross

where Your love poured out.
bring me to my knees; Lord, I lay me down.  
rid me of myself- i belong to You.

Realizing how far off track I had gotten simply because I was too busy to sit down and make time for Jesus..was humbling. heart-breaking. and tough-to say at the least.

"The combination of the silty riverbed, 

the gentle current, 

& all the activity going on in one spot made it 

appear that he was slowly sinking."

The beginning of old habits, the pain, the emotions- it all came flooding back. The enemy found that little corner in my heart, and I didn't fight it off. I put it off dealing with it. I thought, "It's midnight, I am so tired, it's been a bad day- I can't do it right now. I just need a break." WHAT AM I SAYING? I didn't need a break from Christ, I needed a break from society. Reality is- I'm never going to escape society or Christ though. Therefore, I have to make a choice as to which one I want to pursue whole-heartedly.

I've had my heart broken, I've had days where I felt the need to skip every meal, I've had days where I, literally, could not get out of bed, I've had nights where I didn't sleep, I've had moments where I am flooded in tears, I've had moments where I am ashamed that I treated my body- no, not my body-His body that He gave to me, temporarily, as I am on this earth.


When things get to be too much and all those things I just listened happen again- though, I try to avoid the littlest of thoughts of them- I am reminded that

there is nothing greater;

 than the love that holds my life.

"The gash in the clouds rippled repeatedly, as a man's heart beats, and each time there was another puff of the warm breeze. As if the sky was breathing upon them. The sky breathed a word into them. With each breath a phrase: 'This is my son. My beloved. I am pleased with him.'"


It's okay to not be okay. I am not perfect. & trying to be everything I can for society? Nah, that's not me.

I choose Christ.