If you love deeply,
you’re going to get hurt badly.
But it’s. still. worth. it.
you’re going to get hurt badly.
But it’s. still. worth. it.
for. DAYS.
I recently found out that I am going to Ethiopia, this June, for 10 days. I am beyond excited. I had applied to do a summer internship in Guatemala for 2 months, I had got accepted then I found out they hired one too many people. Myself being one of the last ones hired and the youngest, it made the most sense for me to not go. I found this out the week of Christmas so I kept it to myself until after the holidays. I wanted to process and try to wrap my mind around why. (I probably ask myself too much "why" questions. Curiosity is a blessing and a curse.) I barely got any sleep those two weeks. I eventually told people. I was still broken hearted though. Why did God want me here when my heart is clearly to love the least of these? Why did he give me a heart for something that I can't be doing right now?
Except, I can. I didn't see the girls, and even some guys, that I've been trying to speak life into as loving the least of these. I didn't see this as doing anything for a better purpose. But hearts can be hungry too.
I mean, let's be honest: we all strive to be known completely and then accepted as we are and then loved wholly. We're human. We want this. God even designed us to crave these things.
So God has put this on my heart to do that. It requires being humbled daily, that though I am blameless and clean I still have made countless mistakes. It requires loving on days that I don't think I can get out of bed. It requires answering that phone call at 2AM and just listening, not even speaking a word. It requires an open heart and letting Him and Him alone speak through me. It requires being kind quickly and angry slowly.
Even though, God calls us to love the least of these. I think when He spoke that, He meant least of these in heart, mind, and appearance. If it was only based on if a persons stomach was hungry or not- I feel like it would be easier. It would not hurt any less though.
All of this to say: God has given me this heart to love people. To be love. & there are days that I don't want to get out of bed becuase it hurts and nobody understands any of the reasons why I'm hurting. But like another C.S. Lewis quote, I am made for another place.
If we find ourselves with a desire
that nothing in this world can
satisfy,
the most probable explanation is that:
we were made for another
world.
Love and mercy are on the rise & someday I will be loved and so will everyone else. No more hurt.
& that is why never ceasing to love passionately is worth it.
